


Our Past is your Future✨

by TerressaWinner



Series: Lionheart [7]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bellamy also needs a hug, F/F, F/M, M/M, More characters I'm sure you know, More relationships I'm also sure you know, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Bellamy Blake/Echo, Past Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Past Octavia/Lincoln - Freeform, Pregnant Clarke Griffin, Sick Clarke Griffin, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, clarke needs a hug, lots and lots of angst, mentions of other past relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25954000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerressaWinner/pseuds/TerressaWinner
Summary: Basically just oneshots (that I'll change into more chapter if I need to) that was inspired by Past and Pending by Sableu3. I suggest reading at least the first and second chapters of Past and Pending so this makes more sense. I've also made a few changes.Scenario 1: Clarke has suicidal thoughtsScenario 2: Clarke is pregnantScenario 3: Clarke is sickThere will be more scenarios as I go along. And feel free to give me any suggestions of what you want for future chapter. Enjoy!
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Series: Lionheart [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671265
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. And I think I'm going crazy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sableu3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sableu3/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Past and Pending](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24188986) by [Sableu3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sableu3/pseuds/Sableu3). 



> **Important!** Please read: In these oneshots, the Anomaly will be used a sort of time machine (as mentioned in Past and Pending). Those watching season 7 will already now what the Anomaly actually is.
> 
> [ **Warning** ] A lot of Angst ahead! Brace yourself! It's not too late to turn back!
> 
> Also, the title of this chapter is from Haze by Tessa Violet.

It was the older Bellamy who started, "First, you need to know that you're in Trikru territory. Like we told Bellamy earlier they use the trees to their advantage so if you have to go out, don't forget to look up. There are people in the mountain who--"

"Bell wait." He paused at the interruption and looked back where the older Clarke leaned against a table. He watched as she hesitated before meeting his eyes and carrying on. "I know what I said before, but what if the changes we make now affect the future too much."

"That's the whole point Princess. We--"

She held her hand up stopping him. "Just . . . wait. Think about it. Our changes now would change so much. More than we think. We'd literally be changing history. We'd be breaking up couples that haven't even had a chance to happen. Monty and Harper." She heard Monty cough. "Murphy and Emori. Jasper and Maya. Miller and Jackson. My mom and Kane--"

"Wait. Kane as in Marcus Kane?" She turned to her younger self and nodded. Her younger self shuddered.

She looked back at Bellamy and carried on. "Octavia and Lincoln. Me and-and Lexa." She hesitated. "You and Echo." He went stiff and broke their gaze focusing instead on the wall.

She carried on. "Bell, what if what we do today changes too much? What if people that are meant to be aren't born? Jordan. What if people we were meant to meet, we didn't. Allies. Friends." She let out a sarcastic laugh, "Heck, even enemies!"

He looked back at her. "Clarke, we need to do what we need to do to save our people."

Her eyes narrowed. "The moment they risked their lives for us, they became our people! The things we did. The people we killed. The wars we lost and the ones we won. All of those things made us who we are today . . . well, in the Future."

He frowned. His voice wavered. "But-but what about Octavia?"

Younger Bellamy's head snapped to his. "What-what do you mean? What happened to Octavia!"

Bellamy looked over to his younger self then to Octavia and back to Clarke. "Clarke. If we change this now, you won't have to kill all those people. The grounders. The mountain men. Finn . . ."

Finn's eyes went wide as he stared at Clarke. "I'm sorry, what!"

Clarke could feel the tears welling up. "You don't understand. I did it to **save** him!"

"Clarke. What we do now saves so many lives."

She felt a tear drop down. "But . . . Madi."

"Who's Madi?" She heard her younger self pipe up.

She kept her eyes on Bellamy as she spoke. "My-our daughter."

Her younger self coughed and blushed as all eyes turned to her. "What--how--who--"

"Adopted." Older Bellamy piped in. He took a step towards older Clarke. (Let's just call her Griffin and him Blake for now - as suggested in Past and Pending)  
"Clarke we'll find a way."

She sniffed. "Bell, if I don't stay down here, she'll die! Diyoza will kill her. Heck, I don't know is she'll even make it that long!"

Blake's eyebrows furrowed. "I am **not** leaving you again! I can't lose you again! Princess, you won't have to become Wanheda."

She shook her head. "You don't understand Bell. Wanheda is who I _am_."

"Okay, wait wait wait." Murphy piped in, "What the hell does 'Wanheda' mean."

Griffin glanced at Clarke. "Commander of death."

The air in the room shifted. Whispers and murmurs filled it and Clarke's eyes went wide. Her. The commander of _death_? She hesitated before speaking. "What-what did I-we do? H-how did we get that name?"

Griffin's eyes narrowed and the tears just kept coming. "Do you really want to know? The amount of people I killed. The Mountain Men--"

"Clarke we did that together! We pulled that lever _together_!"

She scoffed. "Don't kid yourself Bellamy! _I_ was the one that brought the idea forward. _I_ was the one that shot Dante. If I didn't do it, I wouldn't have had to kill them all. I wouldn't have had to kill Maya! Jasper wouldn't have-" She paused. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't let the younger version of Jasper know that he'd--

____

____

__"Clarke if you didn't kill Wallace, our people would've died!"_ _

__She slammed her hand on the table. "Maya **was** our people!" She huffed. She couldn't take it anymore. He'd always-ALWAYS spoken with his heart!" She glared at him. _ _

__He took another step forward. "Clarke think about this. We have the time to save everyone. We can change people into nightbloods. We can save your mom! You don't have to. . ."_ _

__Her eyes narrowed. "Say it."_ _

__"Princess--"_ _

__"Just say it!"_ _

__He hesitated before finishing his sentence. "You don't have to kill her." A chair scraping against the floor caught their attention as the younger Clarke stumbled back bumping into it and gasped. "You did _what_! Her eyes narrowed as she glared at her older self. "How could you! How could _I_! Oh my God." She stumbled back a bit more almost tripping over and her eyes watered before a few tears escaped. She huffed and glared again at her older self then open the hatch and climbed down. _ _

_How could you do this to me Clarke?_

Her eyes went wide as she listened to the voice of her Mother. Where was it coming from? 

_How could you kill me?_

Her eyes found their way to the Walkie Talkie sat on the table she was currently lying against. No. Why was this happening again? She wasn't in Sanctum. She wasn't under the influence of the Red Sun. So why? 

_Why didn't you save me Clarke? I thought you loved me._ Lexa 

_Why Clarke? Why did you pull the damn lever! Why did you leave me?_ Maya. 

_You should've shot Lexa. Then you could've saved me. You should've put your people first!_ Finn. 

_I hate you Clarke! Why didn't you save Shaw! You should've been the one that died. Not him._ Raven. 

She could hear the small voice in her head telling her that she'd killed more people than she could save. She was making excuses for the lives she'd taken when deep down she knew that she was a monster. She was indeed the 'Commander of Death' and it was too late to repent. 

# -+-

Bellamy just stared. His heart broke as he watched her slowly break apart. He watched as her gaze moved from the hatch to the table. 

"What the hell's going on?" He could hear Finn's voice. 

"Not that I care and all, but is she okay?" Murphy. 

"Answer us! What happened in the future! What did you guys do!" Monty. He ignored them. This was between him and his Princess. His eyes narrowed as he watched her. Why was she staring at the table? 

He followed her gaze and his mouth went dry. He remember what Murphy had told him after the whole incident with the Red Sun. About the walkie talkie. The voices she'd heard when it was off. The knife to her neck. He could only imagine how she'd felt at that moment. How she'd thought that destroying herself would make things better when in truth, it would only crush him and their friends. 

"Clarke it's not on." She just stared. Was she even there anymore? Was she here with them or in her own world? He could feel the anger bubbling. He picked up the walkie talkie and threw it across the room where it hit the wall and tumbled down. He glared at her and grabbed her shoulders grumbling as he shook them forcing her to look up. He paused as he saw the hurt in her eyes. The pain of hundreds. 

Then his eyes narrowed. "Do you remember what you said that day? The day with the bunker. The guns. What you told me." He mimicked her words. "You need forgiveness? I forgive you Clarke! You're forgiven!" She shook her head. 

He stumbled as she pushed him back and grabbed something else on the table and held it to her head. His eyes went wide and the room turned to chaos as the younger ones screamed and shouted. But he zoned it out. Because right now, it was just him and her. Bellamy and Clarke. Together. 

His voice wavered as he spoke. "Clarke, put the gun down. Please." 

# -+-

Her hand shook as she held it to her temple. 

She deserved this. She deserved death. She wasn't a cockroach. She was a coward. She'd only lived this long because she'd killed others. Their lives added years to hers. It was time she gave her life for theirs. It was time. The room went silent as she gulped and spoke. "My fight is over." She looked at Blake. "Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim." 

_May we meet again._

She moved to pull the trigger before she felt a sharp pain on her head and everything went dark. 

# -+-

His eyes moved to Jasper who stood above her with a chair in his hand. His breathing ragged and he ran up to her kicking the gun away and checked her pulse. She was still alive. Jasper dropped the chair and sighed in relief. 

Blake looked up at him and smiled, the smile slightly crooked as his heart beat fast and he cradled Griffin in his arms. "Thank you." 

Jasper nodded and smiled back. "No problem." 


	2. Updating

So recently, I've been having . . . let's just say 'problems' which will unfortunately make it harder to read and write and understand things (also school is starting) and so my update times will be a lot slower.

Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. So. Things got pretty dark. 
> 
> I don't know when I'll have the next chapter out, but it should hopefully be soon.


End file.
